Lords of Pain, Podnasty, and a young wrestling fan.

on June 3, 2015 at 10:19 pm

Ten years ago to the… year, one of my friends first introduced me to dirtsheets. We were in a computer lab at school waiting for a class to start when I saw him looking at Lords of Pain and I was BLOWN AWAY. I had just gotten into wrestling the previous fall, so I wasn’t all that knowledgable about the way the business worked. I know some would say that I still don’t know how it works, but I mean back then I didn’t know a push from a burial, a spotfest from a botched spot. I was completely new to it and I was in awe at how much was on Lords of Pain that detailed exactly how things were going to go down.

Eddie challenging Batista for his World Title? They called it way in advance. Dudley Boyz drama? They had the inside scoop. Again, this was before I knew that a dozen other websites would do it too, and WAY before backstage gossip broke on Twitter before any website- all I knew is that this had opened up a whole new way for me to enjoy wrestling. While I’ll occasionally stray to other dirtsheets to read reviews, the first website I check every day (many, many, times a day) is Lords of Pain.

Anyway, I tell you all that to tell you this: A week ago Lords of Pain posted an interview with Kevin Owens by Alfred “Big Nasty” Konuwa on his Podnasty podcast. Why did this matter to me (other than it being a really good interview)? Because, as you may have guessed, he commissioned me to do the logo for his podcast, so it was featured in the article. It felt pretty cool to see my art up on the website that really triggered my interest in the backstage workings of wrestling. I’ve seen people post links to my comics in the comments before, and I’ve had sites offer to put my comic on them for “exposure”, but to see this naturally occur on there was pretty cool. It makes me wonder if my old buddy Mario, who I lost touch with years ago, was looking at that picture thinking, “Wow, that’s a lot of text in that image!”

I know what you’re thinking. Big deal, Podnasty submitted the interview. Big deal, he could’ve commissioned anyone to do his logo. Big deal, Rob Schamburger’s art is on there like, ALL the damn time, and that one guy who did the pencil sketch of AJ and Punk sleeping together where she tells him to call her Lita got on there and that was probably the first comic he ever drew. Well, it is a big deal. To ten-years-ago me who gazed starry-eyed at rumors about John Cena not actually being stabbed by Carlito’s bodyguard, Jesus. It is to me.

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WWE Elimination Chamber 2015 Predictions

on May 27, 2015 at 5:42 pm

While many people, including myself, have been hard on WWE for PPV overload, I can’t deny that I’m looking forward to this last minute addition of Elimination Chamber. Even though many of the feuds are rushed and underdeveloped, I’m still excited to see the tag team elimination chamber, Owens vs. Cena, and Ambrose fighting for the title. I don’t think we’ll see many big title changes or exciting surprises happening at the show, but I’ve been way off in my past few predictions, so who knows? Let’s dive in!

NXT Flashback: Neville vs. Bo Dallas
I remember liking matches between these two way, way back when I first started watching NXT, so I suppose I should be excited for this too. While Bo’s career has been pretty awful since getting called up, I really enjoy his character and in ring ability, so I hope this feud will push him back into relevancy. I’m a little worried about Neville though, as he would’ve been a much better fit for the Intercontinental Championship Elimination Chamber than falling back on an old NXT feud. I’m predicting Neville to win, mostly because Bo always loses.
Who will win: Neville

Nikki Bella vs. Paige vs. Naomi
It’s great to have Paige back from her time filming Santa movies with the Miz. I feel like the Divas division has been on autopilot for a while now, so I’m hoping Paige wins the title and brings it back into some prominence.
Who will win: Paige

Intercontinental Elimination Chamber: Sheamus vs. Ryback vs. R-Truth vs. King Barrett vs. Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler for the IC Title
I really think this match could’ve been built better. Or at all. There should be some excitement in that there will be a new IC champion crowned at this show, but instead the title will be prop in the background for Ziggler and Rusev’s feud and Sheamus being a bully. Any of these men could’ve carried the title for the past couple of weeks leading up to the show and it wouldn’t have made a difference. I’m predicting Ziggler will win to add an extra wrinkle to his feud with Rusev.
Who will win: Ziggler

“Lets go Cena!” vs. “Cena Sucks!” “Fight Owens, Fight!
For a feud that’s only two weeks in the making, this has been pretty awesome. The WWE introduced Owens to a whole lot of people as a very legitimate force to be reckoned with and gave Cena a great reason to kick the crap out of him. What more could you want? While I’d love for Owens to win, I don’t think Cena is going to lose to a guy from NXT who’s not even officially called up yet.
Who will win: Cena

Tag Team Elimination Chamber with The New Day vs. Tyson Kidd and Cesaro vs. whatever other teams they got to fill it up.
While this match is going to be a highlight of the show, it really shows the lack of depth in the tag division. I’d like to be excited about guys like Los Matadores and Ascension getting a spot in it, but they’re both too damaged for me to believe they have any shot at winning it. While I could see the WWE finally giving The Prime Time Players or Lucha Dragons a shot with the titles, I’m going to play it safe and pick The New Day to retain.
Who will win: The New Day

Seth Rollins aaand the Authority! vs. Dean Ambrose
I don’t think there’s any chance that Ambrose will win. I love him and I’ve loved this feud, but, like I said in my Payback predictions, I think they’re filling time until Brock comes back for the title. That being said, I’ve really enjoyed Ambrose fighting with Rollins and The Authority. He fits the “anti-Authority” roll much better than Roman Reigns or Randy Orton, who both seem like they’d be fine faces of the WWE compared to the scraggly, unpredictable Ambrose. Since Roman and Dean have been acting extra buddy-buddy lately, I’m thinking Ambrose will get “injured indefinitely” in his match and then Roman will slip into the main event spot to avenge his pal… and get a title shot to boot.
Who will win: Rollins

So that’s the card! In truth there are only a couple of matches I’m truly excited for, but honestly, the Elimination Chamber is a selling point for me. I hate to admit getting excited over a gimmick match, but the chamber truly feels like one of the few special match types left, especially with steel cages being so overexposed and Hell in a Cell matches having peaked when Foley fell off of one almost two decades ago. I’ll be really curious to see if they have the Elimination Chamber end the show or not. I’d hate for Kane to go to interfere in the main event like he always loves to do, only to find out it’s the Intercontinental Championship match.

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Payback 2015 Predictions

on May 17, 2015 at 2:49 pm

Did you know? The WWE is making their fans go through a gauntlet match of Pay Per Views. We just had Extreme Rules, TWO WEEKS after Payback is Elimination Chamber, and yet they’re still expecting us to get excited for this placeholder Pay Per View between placeholder Pay Per Views. When I look at the card for Payback it doesn’t really look bad or anything, and I’m sure several matches will be quite good, but I’m having trouble believing that anything at this show will be really memorable. Hell, most of these are rematches from Extreme Rules! Will anything be different tomorrow on Raw than it was on last Thursday’s Smackdown? As you will see in my predictions, I seriously doubt it:

Meta Powers vs. Ascension
Wrestlers doing impressions of other wrestlers has never done anything for me. There’s no future in it. It doesn’t make the wrestler look any better. It doesn’t bring back any nostalgia or anything. It’s just a giant sign saying “HEY, remember when we had wrestlers that people actually wanted to see?!” Axel doesn’t even make any sense! At least doing impressions is Sandow’s gimmick, but Axel being Hogan was totally just thrown in when he was saying that he was still in the Rumble. I’m predicting Meta Powers to win, but only because it seems like an unwritten rule that if NXT talents don’t get over within three matches of being called up, they’re doomed for life.
Who will win: The Meta Powers

Rusev vs. Lana (with John Cena)
Since we know that Cena will never say “I quit”, I’m guessing the real story behind this match will be about Lana and whether or not she breaks it off with Rusev. I was surprised that this feud was pushed into a fourth match, but if Vince is set on turning Lana into a big solo act, having her screw Rusev over by helping his sworn enemy (for now) is probably the best way to do that.
Who will win: Cena

Neville vs. A Guy in a King Costume
The “King of the Ring” always reminds me of the old Batman villain King Tut, who was a normal professor of Egyptology until he’s knocked on the head and “awakens” as the reincarnation of King Tut. So kind of like a crazy person who believes they’re royalty with no real reason behind it. And, in the WWE, being a king means they lose a lot of matches. Neville, on the other hand, is the hot new thing and while he hasn’t started off with the best win/loss record, he’s at least had lots of time to show off what he can do and gain some fans in the process.
Who will win: Neville

Sheamus vs. Ziggler in a Match That Doesn’t Involve Kissing, Asses, or Kissing Asses
While I’ve no doubt that these two men will have a great match, I wish more was going into it than “he was supposed to kiss my ass but didn’t!”. Both of these guys are great, but I don’t see them headed to anything better anytime soon since the main event is so stocked up right now. I’m predicting that Ziggler will win to get his revenge on Sheamus, and maybe… MAYBE… even get him to kiss his ass.
Who will win: Ziggler

Bray Wyatt, The Eater of Worlds vs. Ryback, The Eater of, uh, Everything Else I Guess
I’m not sure who asked for this feud, but I don’t like it. These two wrestlers are very different types of characters, and seeing them together just doesn’t do it for me. I think part of it is that, unlike Cena, Bryan, Jericho, and the Undertaker, Ryback doesn’t have a really well defined character, so when Wyatt wants to rise against him because… he came back from an injury? I just don’t buy it. I’m predicting that Ryback will win though, if only because Wyatt always seems to lose in his feuds.
Who will win: Ryback

The New Day vs. Kidd and Cesaro in a Match That Will Be Much Less Exciting Than Their Elimination Chamber Match Coming In Two Weeks.
Seriously. There’s going to be a tag team Elimination Chamber match just a couple of weeks from now, which really kills the specialness of this match. However these two teams have been great together, so I don’t mind seeing them fight again. I’ve enjoyed the New Day as heels about as much as I hated them as faces (a lot!). How can you not enjoy Xavier getting angry with fans for booing them? “We’re winning!” Great stuff. I’m predicting that New Day will win this one so they can take the titles into the Elimination Chamber. I also wouldn’t rule out run-ins by other tag teams to build hype for the Chamber.
Who will win: New Day

Naomi and Tamina vs. the Bella Twins
So we can all agree that Vince’s response to #GiveDivasAChance (“We hear you. Keep watching.”) pretty much means nothing, right? Not long ago there were four divas storylines going on during Raw, and now it feels like the Bellas are spinning their wheels until they retire. It doesn’t help that we keep seeing random face and heel turns in the division too. A year ago we were seeing the seeds planted for Brie vs. Stephanie at Summerslam and this year the Divas are at the bottom of the list of priorities.
Who will win: Bellas

Fatal Four Way for Kane’s Job AND the World Title!
Since WWE likes to do long term booking for their World Title plans, I’m trying to think of who they want facing Lesnar at Summerslam in order to figure out who will win this match. Since Brock vaguely turned face after Wrestlemania (or during, depending on how you feel about Reigns), I think Rollins is that man. I could see them trying out a brief title run with Reigns or maybe turning Ambrose heel, but this is a filler Pay Per View, so I’m not expecting anything too dramatic.
I’m really not sure what to make out of the Authority storyline heading into this either. They’ve been teasing Kane turning on Rollins and the Authority for a while now, but it’s not something fans want (unlike Sandow turning on the Miz) and I don’t know or like what Face Kane means for the World Title situation.
Who will win: Seth Rollins

So that’s Payback. I won’t deny that I’m more excited for Elimination Chamber in two weeks, simply for the sheer spectacle of the chamber itself, but there are still several matches that look promising at this show too. I’m hoping we’ll see some sort of resolution to the Authority storyline and some serious progression to Rusev and Lana’s fighting, but I’m not holding my breath.

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