After a couple of Pay Per Views off, Botched Spot is back with predictions! Ironic, because I’m far less excited for Extreme Rules than I was for Fastlane or Wrestlemania 31. I mean the second match at Wrestlemania is now the main event of Extreme Rules only a month later! Sure, there’s a title on the line and a steel cage, but it’s the same guys fighting it out. And it’s also hard to feel that there’s any urgency going into Extreme Rules or that anything big will happen when we just got through ‘Mania season. In the past Extreme Rules has managed to deliver though (Cena vs. Lesnar in 2012, for example), so I’m not giving up hope yet. Alright, let’s dig into these matches!

The New Day (Sucks!) vs. Tyson and Cesaro (Are pretty good actually!) for the Tag Titles.
So I’ve really been digging Tysaro (or Ceson? Season?) as a tag team and I’m also glad that The New Day have finally turned heel. I may be in the minority with this, but I believe that The New Day’s heel turn was part of the plan all along, with the WWE realizing that the crowd would really hate three guys who are really positive. So I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a heel vs. heel match, but I think it should still be fairly entertaining. I’m picking Tysaro to win because I’m thinking the WWE will want to push the Lucha Dragons into a feud for the titles as soon as possible, which means they won’t want to keep The New Day in the title picture for long.

John Cena vs. Rusev in a Texas Chain Bullrope Russian Strap Match
How is this gimmick match still around? I’ve really enjoyed the feud between these two, matches and all, so I’m warily looking forward to this one too. I don’t know man, it’s just that this gimmick of touching the turnbuckles is so unnatural. Matches where guys try to knock each other out or climb a ladder for a title makes sense. Trying to touch all four turnbuckles doesn’t. It doesn’t help that the last time they did this- as a strap match at Extreme Rules 2013, I believe- the turnbuckles didn’t even light up properly for the start of the match. I’m predicting Cena to win though and continue on with his open challenges.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett in a Bryan’s Neck Hanging On By A Thread Match
What is it with Bryan getting injured as soon as he holds a title? Long time readers will know I’m a huge fan of Bryan, so I’m disappointed that he might not even make it to the show. It’s hard to predict this match without knowing if it will even happen, but I’m giving Bryan the benefit of the doubt that if there is a match he’ll walk out the champ… however that’s mostly based off of fan-boy mentality more than logical reasoning.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus in a Kiss My Ass Match
As much as I’d like to see Ziggler win, I’d feel pretty bad if Sheamus lost his first pay per view match right after rebranding himself as a stupid looking heel. I’m glad Sheamus is heel again though, and I bet that this will be a great match, except for that stipulation. I don’t know how Dolph goes from winning the main event of Survivor Series 2014 to getting Sheamus’ pasty ass forced on his face only five months later, but there you go.

Nikki Bella vs. Naomi
The Bellas are turning heel and face more often than the Big Show! I don’t really think Naomi will win, except that I’m not sure why they’d turn her heel if not to feud with Paige over the title. I think the WWE are going to play it safe and keep the title on Nikki. The real question is will fans chant for CM Punk or AJ Lee?

Roman Reigns vs. the Big Show in a Last Roman Standing Match
While I don’t find myself excited by the idea of another Reigns vs. Big Show feud, I guess having these two square off is a good way to get people to cheer Roman (y’know, because no one’s supporting Show). I’m definitely predicting that Roman will win though, and will soon be inserted back into the title picture. I don’t know that we’ll see anything in this match that we haven’t seen before, but it’ll give Roman something to do while all of us fans forget that we hated the idea of him winning the title.

Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper in a Chicago Props Fight
This match… I don’t even know what to say about this match. I imagine if any matches are cut for time, it will probably be this one. It will probably be more about Chicago themed props than anything (deep dish pizza? CM Punk?), but I expect both guys to bring their A game and show why they deserve to be doing something more. I could see this going either way, so I’ll just give the prediction to Harper, if only because Ambrose always seems to lose.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton in an All Finishers Banned Match Oh Yeah And A Steel Cage Is There Too
Seriously, is there a worse time to have Rollins ditch the curb stomp than right as they’re building a match around Randy not being able to use his finisher? It makes no sense! I’m confident in picking Rollins to win, mostly because it would be really weird to have him lose the title this soon after he won it. I imagine that with Kane as the Groundskeeper there will be some shenanigans with him acting all face-like only to turn heel on Randy and let all of the Authority and all of their stooges into the cage. Rollins already did something screwy like this once before where he made Randy think the Authority was breaking up only for them to stay together, so I’m imagining that something like that will happen again.

Well that’s a lot of matches! After going through the whole card I find myself a little more positive about it, but not by a lot. I’m at least looking forward to the main event more than the undercard, which is a pretty rare thing for me to say. I guess I should at least give the WWE credit for having their “extreme” stipulations be a little unique this year, but at the same time I can’t say I’m really looking forward to hearing JBL squeal about Ziggler kissing Sheamus’ ass.