How would I explain Extreme Rules in 30 seconds? Hm. A bunch of gimmick matches forced onto feuds that don’t really need it. Aaand done. How many seconds did that take?

Although as of right now there are only five out of eleven (ELEVEN!) matches with gimmicks on them, so I guess WWE did hold back a bit. And who doesn’t love a shark cage match? Even though WWE has been under delivering on their Pay Per Views as of late, I think the reduced schedule is working on me, because I’m actually looking forward to Extreme Rules. I don’t know, maybe it’s the Team Hell No reunion or the hope of seeing Strowman flip a steel cage over, but I think this show could be a lot of fun. On with the predictions!

 

The New Day vs. Sanity in a tables match

If the New Day are going to stay together as a team rather than take on singles careers (contrary to a rumor I read a while back), I’m glad that there are new three man groups like Sanity for them to go up against. While I like the New Day far more than the Nikki Cross-less Sanity, I’m still giving the edge to the newer group so they get a good start to their main roster career.

Who will win: Sanity

 

Finn Balor vs. Constable Corbin

I love Balor. LOOOOVE Balor. But I don’t get why this match is taking up time on this show.

Who will win: Constable Corbin. He’s like an extension of Stephanie, right?

 

Braun Strowman vs. Kevin Owens in a Steel Cage Match

I’m really interested to see what kind of kooky feats of strength they cook up for Braun in this match. I mean it may just be a normal steel cage match, but I’m hoping Braun rips a wall off or something. I have no doubt that Braun will win, but I really hope that Kevin manages to get some offense in by outsmarting him or something.

Who will win: BRAAAUUUNN!

 

Roman Reigns vs. Bobby Lashley

I’m really impressed with how quickly WWE has built up this feud. Lashley went from beating up poor ol’ Sami in an embarrassing feud to fighting with Roman over who should face Brock for the title. I’m a big fan of Lashley’s and only tolerant of Roman, so I’m hoping the Destroyer wins, …but I don’t think he’s going to win.

Who will win: Roman Reigns

 

The Deleters of Worlds vs. The B Team for the Raw Tag Team Championships

The B Team has been racking up wins left and right on Raw, which tells me they will definitely lose when the titles are on the line. I always have trouble getting into wrestlers that do imitations anyway- after WWE dropped the ball hard on Damien Sandow, I can’t imagine the B Team getting any further with it either.

Who will win: The Deleters of Worlds

 

The Bludgeon Brothers vs. Team Hell No

Would I rather see Bryan challenge for World Championships and punch Miz in the face than be in a tag team with Kane? Yes. Am I still having a lot of fun watching this five year old nostalgia act? Yes! I’d love to see these two win the titles, but Kane’s mayoral bid and Miz mouthing off to Bryan during Smackdown last Tuesday makes me think this is a short lived Team Hell No reunion.

Who will win: The Bludgeon Brothers

 

Jeff Hardy vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

I’m going with Shinsuke just because I really want to see him holding gold during this excellent heel run he’s going through. Also Hardy’s face paint bugs me.

Who will win: Shinsuke Nakamura

 

Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins for the Intercontinental Championship in a 30 minute Iron Man match

I feel like this match is kind of the tentpole of the whole Pay Per View. Like no matter what else happens these two will kill it with all this time. I really hope that Seth ends up winning the gold though since he’s one of the most over babyfaces on Raw right now.

Who will win: Seth Rollins

 

Carmella vs. Asuka with James Ellsworth in a shark cage

I’ve said before how much I like Carmella when it comes to her mic work and presence but not her in ring ability, so it comes as no surprise to me that they’re using all the smoke and mirrors and Ellsworths in cages that they can to make this an entertaining match. As much as I want to see Asuka win, I think Charlotte will be the one to unseat Carmella when she comes back from her injury. Also I don’t think they’d use this stipulation unless Ellsworth is going to help Carmella win.

Who will win: Carmella

 

Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax in an Extreme Rules match for the Raw Women’s Championship

Seeing Alexa holding a kendo stick the other night on Raw gave me terrible flashbacks to her “kendo stick on a pole” match she had with Bayley at last year’s Extreme Rules. Hopefully Ronda Rousey’s involvement will keep it from sinking to that level. I’m not sure how Alexa’s going to win, but I definitely don’t see Nia getting the title back after just losing it.

Who will win: Alexa Bliss

 

AJ Styles vs. Rusev

I love Rusev, but if Shinsuke didn’t beat AJ for the title I don’t think there’s any way that Rusev can. I hope they have a great match though, and it gives WWE a reason to seriously consider a title run for him in the future.

Who will win: AJ Styles

 

So that is one long Pay Per View! I know by the time the fifth hour rolls around I’ll be sick of it and hate every match, but I’m going into it with a positive attitude and that’s more than I can say for most of their shows!