As I mentioned in my comic from Monday, I quickly switched from loving Wrestlemania 32 to hating it somewhere after the Womens Championship match. There was a lot to love at Wrestlemania, but by the end of it everything was buried underneath a pile of drawn out matches, Rock tearing down the Wyatts, and cheerleaders. One consistent element throughout almost the entire show was unpredictable endings, leading to me only having one right prediction for Wrestlemania, not counting the preshow. That’s a new low! I guess that should be considered good since it’s unpredictable, but many of the finishes felt flat.
My first few predictions for the preshow were actually spot on. Kalisto beat Ryback in a fun opening match. It was a little weird watching the match when most of the stadium was still empty, but the crowd that was there seemed invested in the whole thing. While I felt bad for Kalisto and Ryback being moved to the opening match during the preshow, they actually had a decent amount of time which may have not happened if they wrestled during the actual show.
I predicted Kalisto would win and I was right!
I also correctly predicted Team Total Divas beating B.A.D. and Blonde in their giant tag match. Brie picked up the win in what could be her last match, which was nice to see. Lana made her official in ring debut, which felt underwhelming despite it taking place right before the biggest show of the year. She only hit a few moves and taunted a few dozen times, but the real crime was wearing purple instead of Communist Russian Red (if that’s not a Crayola color, it should be).
I predicted Team Total Divas would win and I was right!
The Usos beat the Dudleys in a match I actually missed because the WWE Network kept screwing up. Thankfully I didn’t have any other problems with it, but for a minute there I was frantically switching between devices. I don’t really have an opinion on this match since I didn’t see it, but considering I haven’t gone back to watch it shows my opinion of it anyway.
I predicted the Usos would win and I was right!
Lita also came out to reveal the new WWE Womens Championship and that the divas will now be referred to as “superstars”. I found it a little funny that WWE treated this as them evolving with the times, because the Divas title has only been around since 2008 when they started dumping the Victorias and Molly Hollys of the division for the Kelly Kellys and Michelle McCools. It’s progress, but feels more like WWE trying to keep up with UFC and Ronda Rousey rather than a moral decision about what’s best for women. I guess I just feel like it could easily change back in a few years.
The actual Wrestlemania 32 show opened up with an amazing ladder match for the Intercontinental Championship. While I don’t really get the point of having Ryder win long after he was at his peak popularity, it felt good to see, especially when his dad celebrated in the ring with him. The match as a whole was great though, and I don’t remember seeing any major botches despite many high spots being performed. I was predicting and hoping Owens would win, but I can’t help being happy for Ryder! Even though he lost the title to Miz last night on Raw, he still had a career highlight that can never be taken away.
I predicted Kevin Owens would win and I was wrong!
Chris Jericho then beat AJ Styles in a solid match. It was actually really good, but considering everything else that happened at the show, it will most likely be remembered for Jericho winning despite losing to everyone else he feuds with. AJ’s loss reeks of Sting’s loss at last year’s ‘Mania, proving that someone who made a big name somewhere else can’t come in and win at WWE’s biggest show.
I predicted AJ Styles would win and I was wrong!
The New Day’s entrance in the next match was completely amazing. The weird blend of Dragon Ball Z cosplay and a giant cereal box filled with giant pieces of cereal was The New Day at their greatest (Rusev stomping through the cereal was a nice moment too). I was disappointed that The League (or the Lads?) won, although I don’t really think it will hurt New Day. I got the impression that the only reason they won was so Mick Foley, Stone Cold, and Shawn Michaels could come out and chase them off, followed by Austin giving Xavier a stunner. Normally I hate it when retired stars are shown to be stronger than active stars, but this was a fun segment for the show.
I predicted The New Day would win and I was wrong!
Brock soundly defeated Dean in the first real dud of the night. I don’t mind Brock winning, but for all of Dean’s build up as an unstoppable madman, he went down pretty quick. What really bothered me about this was WWE introducing the barbwire bat and chainsaw as storyline elements that never got to pay off. At least let Dean hit Brock with the blunt end! The whole match was a big disappointment and I hope both competitors quickly move on to other feuds.
I predicted Ambrose would win and I was wrong!
I’m not sure if Charlotte retained her old title or won a new one in her match against Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks, but either way she won. I really wish Sasha would have won because it would have been another great feel good moment for the show, but it will still be fun to see her chase the title. There was a lot of displeasure online over Ric holding Sasha back to help his daughter win, but it at least gives Sasha a good reason to challenge for the title again. To me this was easily the match of the night, with the only real competition coming from the ladder match.
I predicted Sasha would win and I was wrong!
This is where things, in my humble opinion, went downhill. Shane had a very shoot style match against the Undertaker, which I felt was weird for a forty something year old businessman. I hate to harp on this too much, but it really bothered me to see Shane, an inactive non-wrestler, trade submission holds with the biggest name in WWE. I was really expecting some kind of interference to happen, but we really got nothing in regards to Shane fighting for the control of Raw. You would think Vince, Stephanie, or Triple H would care in the slightest, but I guess they had full confidence in Undertaker. Also no payoff for Vince calling the Undertaker a bitch.
I foolishly predicted Shane would win and was totally wrong!
I just realized I completely forgot to mention Shane’s big bump. He took a big bump. Look, it takes a lot of courage to jump off the cell, but we all knew it was coming, we’ve seen it before, we’ve seen him jump off of higher things, so I just wasn’t as impressed with it as everyone else was.
I actually liked Baron Corbin winning the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, and I hope he does more with it than Cesaro or Big Show did. I don’t love Baron, but I think he’s grown into his character a lot and I enjoyed his match at Takeover. I was really surprised to see Tatanka in the battle royal, because it’s Tatanka.
I predicted Braun Strowman to win and he wasn’t even in the match!
I enjoyed The Rock’s Wrestlemania appearance up until the Wyatts coming out to threaten him. As soon as the lights went out, live-twitterers went to work guessing what 6th grade insults Rock would throw at Bray, and were mostly right. Inbred? Check. Fat jokes? Check. Duck Dynasty? Check. Cracker Barrell? Maybe not, but as if verbally trashing the Wyatts wasn’t enough, he went on to defeat Eric Rowan in six seconds. Then Cena came out and the two of them bounced all the Wyatts all over the ring.
I didn’t know this match was even going to happen, so I had nothing to predict!
I’ll be honest, by the time the main event came around I’d had my fill of wrestling. Triple H’s entrance was pretty cool at least, with Stephanie handling most of the theatrics. I was finally spot on with a prediction, as Roman won with no swerves, turns, or interference. I don’t like it, but I admire WWE for seeing his forced push through to the bitter end.
I predicted Roman would win and I’m finally right! Hooray!
So after seven (SEVEN) hours, Wrestlemania was finally over. By the time Roman was holding the title high I had completely forgotten about the start of Wrestlemania, the part of the show that I actually enjoyed. I hope WWE learns from this and remembers next year that bigger isn’t always better. Rather than packing Wrestlemania with everything they have, how about reserving it for their best? I don’t think it was terrible, mostly just tiring, and there were ultimately still plenty of big moments to make this a decent Wrestlemania.