Did you know? The WWE is making their fans go through a gauntlet match of Pay Per Views. We just had Extreme Rules, TWO WEEKS after Payback is Elimination Chamber, and yet they’re still expecting us to get excited for this placeholder Pay Per View between placeholder Pay Per Views. When I look at the card for Payback it doesn’t really look bad or anything, and I’m sure several matches will be quite good, but I’m having trouble believing that anything at this show will be really memorable. Hell, most of these are rematches from Extreme Rules! Will anything be different tomorrow on Raw than it was on last Thursday’s Smackdown? As you will see in my predictions, I seriously doubt it:

Meta Powers vs. Ascension
Wrestlers doing impressions of other wrestlers has never done anything for me. There’s no future in it. It doesn’t make the wrestler look any better. It doesn’t bring back any nostalgia or anything. It’s just a giant sign saying “HEY, remember when we had wrestlers that people actually wanted to see?!” Axel doesn’t even make any sense! At least doing impressions is Sandow’s gimmick, but Axel being Hogan was totally just thrown in when he was saying that he was still in the Rumble. I’m predicting Meta Powers to win, but only because it seems like an unwritten rule that if NXT talents don’t get over within three matches of being called up, they’re doomed for life.
Who will win: The Meta Powers

Rusev vs. Lana (with John Cena)
Since we know that Cena will never say “I quit”, I’m guessing the real story behind this match will be about Lana and whether or not she breaks it off with Rusev. I was surprised that this feud was pushed into a fourth match, but if Vince is set on turning Lana into a big solo act, having her screw Rusev over by helping his sworn enemy (for now) is probably the best way to do that.
Who will win: Cena

Neville vs. A Guy in a King Costume
The “King of the Ring” always reminds me of the old Batman villain King Tut, who was a normal professor of Egyptology until he’s knocked on the head and “awakens” as the reincarnation of King Tut. So kind of like a crazy person who believes they’re royalty with no real reason behind it. And, in the WWE, being a king means they lose a lot of matches. Neville, on the other hand, is the hot new thing and while he hasn’t started off with the best win/loss record, he’s at least had lots of time to show off what he can do and gain some fans in the process.
Who will win: Neville

Sheamus vs. Ziggler in a Match That Doesn’t Involve Kissing, Asses, or Kissing Asses
While I’ve no doubt that these two men will have a great match, I wish more was going into it than “he was supposed to kiss my ass but didn’t!”. Both of these guys are great, but I don’t see them headed to anything better anytime soon since the main event is so stocked up right now. I’m predicting that Ziggler will win to get his revenge on Sheamus, and maybe… MAYBE… even get him to kiss his ass.
Who will win: Ziggler

Bray Wyatt, The Eater of Worlds vs. Ryback, The Eater of, uh, Everything Else I Guess
I’m not sure who asked for this feud, but I don’t like it. These two wrestlers are very different types of characters, and seeing them together just doesn’t do it for me. I think part of it is that, unlike Cena, Bryan, Jericho, and the Undertaker, Ryback doesn’t have a really well defined character, so when Wyatt wants to rise against him because… he came back from an injury? I just don’t buy it. I’m predicting that Ryback will win though, if only because Wyatt always seems to lose in his feuds.
Who will win: Ryback

The New Day vs. Kidd and Cesaro in a Match That Will Be Much Less Exciting Than Their Elimination Chamber Match Coming In Two Weeks.
Seriously. There’s going to be a tag team Elimination Chamber match just a couple of weeks from now, which really kills the specialness of this match. However these two teams have been great together, so I don’t mind seeing them fight again. I’ve enjoyed the New Day as heels about as much as I hated them as faces (a lot!). How can you not enjoy Xavier getting angry with fans for booing them? “We’re winning!” Great stuff. I’m predicting that New Day will win this one so they can take the titles into the Elimination Chamber. I also wouldn’t rule out run-ins by other tag teams to build hype for the Chamber.
Who will win: New Day

Naomi and Tamina vs. the Bella Twins
So we can all agree that Vince’s response to #GiveDivasAChance (“We hear you. Keep watching.”) pretty much means nothing, right? Not long ago there were four divas storylines going on during Raw, and now it feels like the Bellas are spinning their wheels until they retire. It doesn’t help that we keep seeing random face and heel turns in the division too. A year ago we were seeing the seeds planted for Brie vs. Stephanie at Summerslam and this year the Divas are at the bottom of the list of priorities.
Who will win: Bellas

Fatal Four Way for Kane’s Job AND the World Title!
Since WWE likes to do long term booking for their World Title plans, I’m trying to think of who they want facing Lesnar at Summerslam in order to figure out who will win this match. Since Brock vaguely turned face after Wrestlemania (or during, depending on how you feel about Reigns), I think Rollins is that man. I could see them trying out a brief title run with Reigns or maybe turning Ambrose heel, but this is a filler Pay Per View, so I’m not expecting anything too dramatic.
I’m really not sure what to make out of the Authority storyline heading into this either. They’ve been teasing Kane turning on Rollins and the Authority for a while now, but it’s not something fans want (unlike Sandow turning on the Miz) and I don’t know or like what Face Kane means for the World Title situation.
Who will win: Seth Rollins

So that’s Payback. I won’t deny that I’m more excited for Elimination Chamber in two weeks, simply for the sheer spectacle of the chamber itself, but there are still several matches that look promising at this show too. I’m hoping we’ll see some sort of resolution to the Authority storyline and some serious progression to Rusev and Lana’s fighting, but I’m not holding my breath.