So just as it was tradition for me to do 2012 predictions at the start of the year, I must also review my predictions for 2011 from a year ago. It was my third time trying to predict the future, and while I had a pretty good track record leading up to it, I can’t say I did too well. Let’s take a look!

First Prediction: The WWE will finally revamp their ridiculous Pay Per View schedule, but instead of removing shows as most people are hoping, they add ten more!

Well, that was wrong. The same number of PPV’s were kept, unfortunately, although they did change some of the names. I read somewhere that the number was reduced back down to 12 PPV’s for this year though. So I was wrong, but glad to be wrong.

Second Prediction: Matt Hardy will join TNA and reform the Hardy Boyz …Right before Jeff Hardy finally has his court date and goes to jail.

Matt joined TNA. Jeff had his court date and went to jail. Nailed it! Sure, they may have squeaked a tag match or two in there before all of their problems took them away from wrestling, but I’m still counting it.

Third Prediction: On the heels of “Legendary” and “The Chaperone” WWE [Studios] continues producing heart warming coming of age movies about kids with a WWE superstar playing [their] mentor. No matter how formulaic it gets.

Well, the year started off with “The Chaperone” and “That’s What I Am.” These were two wholesome movies about kids learning and growing and having wrestlers around them. But then came “Inside Out” and “The Reunion”. Triple H traded his fanny pack jokes for guns, and instead of Randy Orton going to the papers, John Cena was doing something involving shooting. So that’s two kids movies and two action movies… hm… I don’t want any ties, so I’m going to call this one a miss due to a technicality- In “That’s What I Am” Randy Orton played the father to a bully, rather than a mentor to the protagonist.

So that’s it for my 2011 predictions. One out of three. Not my best, but there’s always this year. I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for Hulk Hogan adopting a baby.

The Randy Orton Jumble! It wouldn’t be Randy Orton week without some fun and games, after all.

Well, that’s another Randy Orton week in the books! It’s been a wild ride, but all good things must come to an end. And there will be another one next year! I’ve thought about having another wrestler themed week, but I don’t think there’s anyone else who’d have the same je ne se qua.

But thanks for the comments and the positive feedback on Randy Orton week 2011! It’s a blast coming up with ideas for Randy Orton jokes and I’m already looking forward to next year. I wonder if Randy himself will ever see this and what he’d think about comics based off of his buttcheeks popping out… It would probably involve RKOs and punts to the skull. Oh well!

So at some point someone decided that tall orange men look like snakes. I get the comparison to a degree when Orton’s lying on the mat waiting to hit his opponent with the RKO, but don’t other wrestlers lie on the mat too? And what about when he’s walking around in the ring? If I had to compare Randy to some sort of animal, it would probably be some sort of cat stalking its prey, but who am I to argue with the marketing machine that is the WWE?

I will take a stand though and say that the Smackdown opening takes the viper comparison to completely ridiculous levels by giving Randy snake pupils at the end of the video. I have to wonder though… what if they compared Randy to a different animal and had to give him those eyes in the Smackdown opening instead? Hm…

For the record, when I first came up with this idea I had much more confidence in my Photoshopping skills than I really should have.

It’s that time of year again… Randy Orton week! The first full week in September when we celebrate all things Orton, like RKO’s and the color orange. Randy’s changed a lot in the past year. He’s grown a beard. He seems to smile more. He acted in his first movie. And hey, he’s now the World Heavyweight Champion! So prepare yourself for a full week of Orton fun and games. Remember, as Randy always says, he’d RKO his own grandmother if it meant holding on to his championship!

Ah, Summerslam. Being one of the WWE’s big four pay per views, I always feel like I should be excited about it, but I can’t recall one that I’ve ever really looked forward too. This year is no exception, with most of the matches having me kind of interested, but I’m only really looking forward the main event. I’m still making the trip to the nearby sports bar to check it out, because I’m sure it’ll at least be worth a watch. Anyway, on to predictions…

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry
I’m really digging Sheamus’ face turn so far. I think he smiles a little bit too much for my taste, but sometimes when I turn on wrestling I just want to see a big guy kicking ass and Sheamus fits that bill quite nicely. Of course Mark Henry does the same thing and that makes me kind of interested for this match. I have a feeling that Mark Henry’s going to win to keep the momentum going so he can challenge for the main event, but I’ll be rooting for Sheamus.

Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix
Finally, a decent feud for the Diva’s division! Seeing how there’s a credible threat in the Divas of Doom (Sisters of Destruction?) I’m actually kind of interested in this match. I’m guessing Beth will win.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett
I’m a mark for Daniel Bryan, so I’m going to be at least kind of interested in this match, though I really wish there was more of a feud building up to this. Bryan’s got to win this one to build up his credibility for whenever he cashes in his money in the bank briefcase, whether that’s at Wrestlemania 28 or not.

World Heavyweight Champion Christian vs. Randy Orton
My God, this feud is played out. I’ve heard people blame the length of their program on the lack of Smackdown’s main event talent, but at this point I wouldn’t mind seeing Heath Slater fight for the belt if it meant having someone new (that is a total exaggeration). Orton and Christian’s other matches have been good, so I’m still kinda interested to see this one, but I’m guessing Orton wins and moves on to face someone else.

WWE Championship Match: John Cena vs. CM Punk
It really seems like the WWE has been leading up to Triple H screwing CM Punk out of his WWE title so John Cena can keep his WWE title. But… I keep predicting the obvious for this feud and getting it wrong, so instead I’m going to say that Triple H screws Cena out of the title and then attacks CM Punk to set up a feud between the three of them. Well maybe all that won’t happen, but I’m going with Punk.

Only five matches? I’m sure something else will pop up. I’m predicting the heel will win.